Coping with grief during the holiday season can be challenging. Here are five tips that can help you navigate this difficult time:

Listen to Your Heart

Embrace the holiday traditions that you find meaningful. You can also create new traditions that keep the memory and legacy of your loved ones alive. Don’t do more than you want, and don’t do anything that doesn’t feel comfortable, including decorating, making holiday dinners and sending out cards.

Take Care of Yourself

Try to get enough sleep, eat healthfully, exercise, and do things that call to your soul. For some, this may be coloring, writing in a journal, taking a nature walk or reading a book. For others, it may mean connecting with friends, getting a massage, or seeing a movie. Grieving is hard work! It affects us physically, cognitively, as well as emotionally, and makes it harder for us to concentrate and remember things, so don’t forget to make time for yourself.

Have an Escape Plan

If you are invited to a party, let the host know in advance that you may not stay the entire time. Consider driving yourself so you can leave if you feel trapped. Be willing to give up things that may be stressful, and give yourself permission to decide—or change your mind—at the last minute.

Develop—and Train—a Support Network

Being with people who care about us is healing, especially if they can say our loved one’s name and listen to us cry without trying to fix us or the situation. But many people are so afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing something to upset us that they often disappear right when we need them the most, which is hurtful. It’s up to us to be their teachers; don’t be afraid to reach out and let people know what you need and how they can help.

Focus on What You Have, Not What You’ve Lost

While this is easier said than done, we can try to stay grounded in gratitude by looking for the blessings in every situation, being kind, seeking connection, reaching out in love and friendship to others, and celebrating our loved one’s legacy.

Joanne Fink is an award-winning designer, calligrapher, bereavement advocate, and author of WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE. Her studio, Lakeside Design, specializes in developing products for the gift, stationery, craft, and faith-based markets. With more than a million books in print, Joanne is the author of 11 books from Fox Chapel Publishing, including Complete Guide to Bible Journaling, Zenspirations Coloring Book Inspirations, Flowers of Faith Coloring Book, and L’Chaim: Celebrate Life.